As a slave living in a BDSM power exchange relationship, I have agreed to obey Master and to submit to His will, which sometimes includes punishment and discipline. I have been asked so many times lately, by many of you what Master punishes me for, so I thought I would share a little bit about that.
Sometimes the distinction between punishment and discipline are blurred in explanation, because I have agreed to complete surrender and Ownership, it is Master's beliefs I am adapting and so I have looked to Him to understand the difference. Discipline then, is used by Master to correct my behavior, thought patterns and beliefs in reaction to disobedience, undesirable actions or thoughts, and incorrect beliefs. It is correction and education for the purpose of redirecting and reshaping me as a slave to behave or believe in a desired manner.
Punishment however, is a repercussion, an act of motivation and deterrence used when I willfully or knowingly displease Master. You can read more about the difference between the two here: Are Discipline and Punishment the same or is there a difference?
In my Master and slave relationship, there is a white board Master keeps in His bedroom with categories on it and if I do any of the listed things, a mark is added for punishment. I receive three strokes for each mark recorded. Over time, the things on the board have changed, as I have changed and progressed in my training.
At the beginning things such as doing yoga daily or taking out the garbage were on there, physical things that I was not performing without fail on my own accord. Disrespecting Master was on there.
Over time however, the physical categories have changed to emotional/mental ones. Now some of the things I am punished for include saying No to Master for any reason, believing Master is incorrect, believing Master does not understand, directing anger at Master and not seeing my own infractions before Master points them out. I love that it progresses and changes and grows with me. I love that Master adapts it to what He is currently trying to teach me.
Master almost always uses a paddle to punish me with, though He has used a wooden hairbrush and a cane and a belt on occasion. Ninety percent of the time it is a paddle. My first Master used a paddle to punish me with as well and so I have a strong emotional tie to paddles for correction. He does not enjoy punishing a slave, and I can always tell by the look in His eyes. It makes my heart wrench. Yet the fact He does not enjoy it and does it anyways has created a great and deep respect in my heart for Him. I always know He is in control, He is in charge, He is shaping me, commanding me, cultivating me. I never have to doubt where the lines are. The deep cleansing and realignment to Master's will and to my goals as a slave, that occur after punishment, are very difficult for me to describe to anyone. But I am sure many of you understand.
When Master disciplines or punishes me, it helps me to grow as His slave. It guides me through the willfulness and my own ego screaming that it is right. It motivates me to understand my thoughts and beliefs and to alter them to something beneficial. It deepens my submission to His path and His desires.It moves me beyond self judgement and opens me to bettering my service to Him. It is challenging to let go of ego, it can be so deeply convincing. When Master punishes me, it helps me see more clearly, the path He has unfolded before me. It helps me move forward on that path to surrendering myself completely to being His slave.
Though I do not enjoy displeasing Master in any way, I am grateful for His control and correction. It is a challenge being a slave, a very deep challenge. It makes sense to me then that it takes deep motivation and guidance to continue growing and surrendering all that I am. Master's discipline and punishment are a part of that and they help me become a better slave.